By December 26, 2007 Read More →

Romantic long distance relationships: some advice and tips

Okay, let’s get through the bad news first: most long distance relationships just don’t end up working out.  But just because the majority of long distance romances end in failure doesn’t mean your long distance relationship has to, so start thinking optimistically and listen to some advice and tips on making your long distance romance work.

First of all, it’s impossible not to recognize the fact that long distance relationships were much more successful in the past, and that a long distance romance’s chances of success have suffered in our modern society.  There are lots of examples of lovers who were forced to leave their partners in past wars for long periods of time, and the majority of those long distance relationships did succeed.  World War I, World War II, etcetera . . . some of those marriages were split apart for three or four years, and all they had to keep in touch were sporadic romantic letters.

But wait a second . . . with modern technology, keeping in touch with your sweetheart is even easier, so should long distance relationships be more successful nowadays?  Well sure, they should be, but the fact of the matter is that long distance romances are much more fragile today.  You can blame it on a more impersonal, hook-up culture or society if you want, but long distance romances are much more difficult to maintain in our modern world.

That’s not to say that your long distance relationship is doomed to failure, though.  First of all, what is the reason why you have to go away from your lover and have a long distance romance?  Is it out of necessity, for instance a long business trip or perhaps a military deployment?  And also, how serious are you with that special someone?  Have you dated or been married for years, or are you undertaking a long distance relationship without really having spent much time with them in the first place?

Obviously, a relationship that is already strong and made up of two dedicated partners is much more likely to survive a long distance relationship than one that is shallower and less romantic.  If you have plenty of early warning that you will have to start a long distance romance, use the time you have together to discuss what that will mean to your situation and how you will work to make sure you remain committed to each other and in love.

In fact, even if you don’t suspect that you will ever have to spend long periods of time away from your lover, it’s a good exercise to ask yourself how you think you would handle a long distance relationship and whether your romance would be strong enough to endure it.  Time alone is important to every individual, no matter how much they enjoy their relationship with that special someone.  It might be a good idea to practice spending an afternoon or even a few days away from each other—for a business trip or to visit family members—to reassure yourself that your relationship is healthy enough to endure a long distance situation.

In the end, the old saying about absence making the heart grow fonder is true—to a certain degree.  If you and your sweetheart share true romance, then a long distance relationship shouldn’t pose any threat to your future happiness (as long as the absence isn’t too extensive).  If, on the other hand, you and your lover lack romance and trust in your relationship, you may want to focus on building a healthier relationship before it’s time for you to hit the road.

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