It’s no secret that one romantic relationship is never exactly like another, and that the strengths and challenges present in your romance make it as unique as a set of fingerprints. That’s why I don’t like the term “relationship expert.” The only real expert when it comes to your relationship is you and your significant other, and any romantic ideas you might find here or from similar sources will be useless unless it’s tailored to your relationship’s specific dynamics.
The importance of not having things in common
The uniqueness of your romantic relationship springs partially from external influences that you have little control over: your environment, the people around you, or even your health. But the ingredients that play the biggest role in any romantic relationship’s success or failure are, without a doubt, the individual qualities of the partners themselves.
Have you ever really taken the time to identify the unique talents, quirks and interests that your sweetheart brings to your relationship? Having things in common with your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is very important to the success of a relationship or marriage, sure. But letting your lover know that your appreciate and encourage their unique qualities–even if they are qualities that you will never share with them–can be just as important.
Do you appreciate or tolerate?
Are you someone who understands and appreciates your sweetheart’s unique qualities, or someone who just tolerates or ignores those unique qualities? A person is a conglomeration of each and every one of their interests, experiences, strengths and weaknesses. Understanding those qualities, and appreciating how they have shaped the person you love, can give you much greater insight into how your relationship works . . . and how to improve it.
One of the great things about a romantic relationship is that a good partner inevitably broadens our horizons and makes us a more complete person. Allowing yourself to learn from your sweetheart’s unique qualities and interests won’t just help you appreciate them more; it will also broaden your understanding and help you live a more fulfilling life.
Encourage individuality . . . and become closer!
And if your partner has are a few unique qualities or interests that you know you’ll never have in common with them, there’s nothing wrong with not joining them.
Even the perfect couple doesn’t have everything in common, and it’s healthy to have hobbies or pastimes that you can practice by yourself.
Your sweetheart will inevitably have certain qualities or interests that aren’t appealing to you. But promise yourself to consider those qualities and appreciate how they make your lover who they are. By helping your lover to be proud of their unique qualities, and by telling them that you appreciate those qualities, you’ll build a much more open, romantic relationship.
Ironically, by encouraging a certain amount of individuality in your romantic relationship, you’ll quickly discover that you and your sweetheart have more in common than you ever dreamed!