Becoming involved in a serious romantic relationship can be a pretty overwhelming experience, especially if you’ve never had the privilege of being in love before. It’s hard to think of many things that deserve to be treated with more seriousness and commitment than the romance you have with your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband!
The problem with thin skin
Like everything in life, though, it’s possible to take your romantic relationship or marriage a little too seriously. One of the most important ingredients in a successful relationship is the ability to laugh and have fun even in the face of problems. Thin skin, chronic jealousy and an inability to take stress in stride will all chip away at your relationship and make your sweetheart less likely to trust and share things with you.
External stresses are inevitable in even the best relationships. The words and actions of others, random events and even financial worries can be unpleasant to deal with, but taking them too seriously gives them power over your life and your happiness.
You decide how you feel!
Remember: no person or event has the power to make you upset or unhappy. The only person who decides how you’re going to feel . . . is you! Worrying or obsessing about things that you have no control over–and that your sweetheart had nothing to do with–lets those things affect the health of your romantic relationship.
Now why in the world would you want to let those pitiful outside influences have any control over the happiness of you and your special someone?
Trusting your sweetheart
For some people who take their romance too seriously, the root of the problem is fear that their relationship is going to end. That’s an understandable worry for anyone who values their relationship, but getting bent out of shape over any small event makes a breakup more likely, not less.
Trusting your lover, and being confident that they assign the same amount of importance to your relationship as you do, is the first step in denying outside influences any control over your happiness.
Rather than immediately getting offended or stressed out over something, ask yourself: does this really threaten our relationship? Is my sweetheart really someone who would let this have a negative affect on our happiness?
When you come to the conclusion that the answer to both questions is “no,” make yourself a promise that you won’t let this event have power over your happiness by taking it too seriously.
By learning to take things less seriously and laugh at events that are out of your control, you’ll make your sweetheart feel more trusted, more understood, and more loved.