Learn to see the lighter side of things 

In many instances, taking your relationship too seriously is more dangerous to your romance than not taking your relationship seriously enough.  Developing a sense of humor about events that you can’t change is a great way to make your relationship more resilient, fend off a breakup or divorce, and make your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend more comfortable with you.

So, does that mean you should laugh off every serious problem that life hands you?  Of course not!  But having a sense of humor does mean that you allow yourself to see the lighter side of situations that you can’t change . . . and let yourself laugh off your challenges every now and then!

Don’t let minor annoyances gain control of your life! 

Illnesses and threats to your relationship or marriage are hardly humorous, and laughing in the face of serious problems such as these would be silly and probably make your sweetheart feel pretty rotten.  But taking smaller problems and annoyances too seriously is giving outside influences more control over your happiness than they deserve.  By developing a thicker skin and laughing at minor challenges, you rob them of their power to control your life . . . and you make your romance even stronger!

So the next time you feel like getting upset over something that really has no consequence, try laughing at the annoyance instead.  You’ll be surprised at how much it improves your life, your romance . . . and you!

The spoken word isn’t everyone’s cup of tea

It’s unfortunate but true that some people just aren’t comfortable with talking and take much longer to open up and connect with another individual if they have to do so with the spoken word.  Regardless of the underlying reason for someone’s inability to talk, when you or your sweetheart won’t join in a dialogue, it makes it much more difficult to foster trust, comfort and happiness.

If you and your sweetheart are having trouble communicating your feelings to each other through the spoken word, there’s nothing wrong with trying other romantic ideas to convey your thoughts and solving problems.  The spoken word simply isn’t the best form of communication for every couple.  Luckily, modern technology gives many new options for avoiding breakup or divorce to couples who haven’t found success with traditional conversation.

Is modern technology the answer to your relationship problems?

In addition to romantic text messages and romantic Emails, trying out instant messages, or IM, might be a great way for you and your lover to communicate thoughts and feelings that you haven’t yet had success with.  Instant Messaging is similar to communicating with someone via computer in an Internet chat room, but unlike a chat room your instant messages are sent back and forth between each other privately and cannot be seen by anyone else. 

Instant messaging may be the pefect way to improve communication in your relationship for several reasons.  If you and your sweetheart become easily frustrated with each other or offended because of body language or tone of voice, instant messaging will allow you to convey your thoughts without any visual or auditory baggage.

Additionally, it is much easier for some people to say what is on their mind via instant messaging rather than face-to-face.  The distance and security provided by instant messaging makes it much more comfortable for some people to speak their true feelings and explore problems that might be plaguing your relationship more deeply.

Start trying Instant Messaging today . . . it’s easy! 

If you and your lover ae having a difficult time communication face-to-face, a weekly Instant Message session may be exactly what you need to resolve underlying probems and add more romance to your relaionship.  If you’d like to give it a try, I reccommend signing up for Windows Live Messenger, an IM service that my fiance and I use regularly.  It’s easy to install and start using right away.

Do you realy have anything to lose by trying out instant messaging to see if it can help your relationship?  You might be surprised at how much your communication improves by taking advantage of modern technology and using unconventonal methods to build your romance today! 

I believe the answer to that question can, in some cases, be yes . . . and a post I read on a site called Seduction Tutor, which offers readers daily seduction tips, helped convince me even further that romance and seduction do sometimes go hand-in-hand.

First let me say that I don’t think there’s anything even remotely romantic about trying to seduce a person without giving any thought to seeking a romantic, monogamous relationship.  While I don’t think two adults should be stopped from doing what they wish or be chastised for doing so, I also don’t think you should fool yourself into thinking that there’s anything romantic about a one-night stand.

Having said that, however, I do believe that the art of seduction can be a positive influence in a loving relationship with your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, and I don’t think the use of seduction should be limited to people who have just met.  On the contrary, as Seduction Tutor often shows, you can use seduction tips in your marriage or romantic relationship to add new excitement and passion.

One post in particular made me notice the Seduction Tutor blog and opened my eyes to the possibility that romance and seduction really aren’t mutually exclusive.  In the post, the author makes some great observations about romance, including the following:

To me, romance is about showing a softer side of yourself… a more thoughtful side… in a way that is meant to increase the woman’s attraction for you. Like I just mentioned, most guys either try to use romance to create attraction, or they do too many things in an attempt to “be romantic”, and the effect is lost.

And that’s a really great point: if you’re trying to be romantic just to be romantic, it isn’t true romance at at all.  Romance really is a tool you should use to accentuate and focus upon an attraction that already exists . . .  not to create it.  Similarly, the art of seduction can be a great tool to add some more passion to an already romantic relationship . . . but be careful if you’re looking to skip romance and move right to seduction.

While Seduction Tutor may be geared toward people looking to initially attract members of the opposite sex, it can also be a great tool for loving couples looking to add more spice to their relationship.  Just because you’re in a long-term, mongamous relationship doesn’t mean you can’t experiment with passion, sexiness and flirtation with each other!

Make a daily “thank you” one of your romantic habits!

Is being polite romantic?  Of course it is!  And in addition to learning how to say you’re sorry, simply telling your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend “thank you” on a regular basis can actually improve your relationship and add more romance to your life.

So, why is it romatic to say thanks?  As I’ve said before, a romance isn’t about huge, overwhelming, infrequent gestures; instead, a relationship is made fulfilling, exciting and rewarding by adding small, subtle, consistent acts to your everyday life.  And saying “thank you” on a regular basis, whenever it is appropriate, is one of those small, subtle things that add to the overall romantic aura of your relationship.

Let’s face it: people just love knowing that the things they do are appreciated.  And when your sweetheart gets a thanks for something nice they’ve done for you it doesn’t just make them feel better about themselves; it also makes them more likely to do something nice for you again!

Don’t forget to say thanks for the little things! 

It seems strange, but the most powerful thank-you you can give someone isn’t for the really significant things they do for you.  Who would forget to show their appreciation to someone who had just saved their life or given them a million dollars?  No, it’s the appreciation that you show for small things, the offers of thanks that your significant other doesn’t expect, that really show how much you love having them in your life.

So the next time your lover does something small and considerate for you, why not say ”thank you?”  It might be the one tiny positive thing that tips the scales and turns a bad day . . . into a romantic day! 

Since Romance Tracker’s mission is to deliver fresh romantic ideas to our readers, we’re going to dedicate a series of posts to the all-important question: what exactly is romance, and what does the word “romantic” mean?

Last week we talked about the Romantic Period of art, music and literature. Today we’re going to explore the Romance or Romantic Languages, also known as the Romanic Languages, which are languages that evolved from Latin.

There are more than 700 million native speakers of Romance Languages in the world, made up for the most part of people in Europe, the Americas and Africa. The most common Romance Languages spoken around the world are Spanish, Portuguese, French, Italian, Romanian, and Catalan.

Romance Languages originated in the vulgar Latin of the Roman Empire, not the classic Latin spoken by the more sophisticated upper class. The Romans had much success in conquering a large portion of the globe beginning in 200 BC, and they made Latin the most prevalent language in the places they ruled.

The Roman Empire fell around the 5th Century, but the Latin that had been spoken in the areas they had ruled continued to evolve and become unique languages. Many of those languages still survive today and are spoken around the world.

So the next time you hear about someone who speaks a “Romantic” language, keep in mind that it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a romantic person! English may not be a Romantic Language . . . but you can be just as romantic speaking it as you can be speaking textbook Romantic Languages such as French, Spanish and Italian.

Now that I’ve grabbed your attention, get your red pen ready: “I’m proud of you” are the four magical words that will add a whole new dimension of love and appreciation to your romantic relationship.

So, why is the phrase “I’m proud of you” nearly as important in a relationship as “I love you?” Well, regular readers of Romance Tracker already know that showing someone you love them is just as important as saying you love them. Sure, A simple “I love you” is a wonderful, effective way to nurture your loving relationship. But actually letting your lover know why you have these wonderful sentiments about them will help them appreciate your feelings and feel better about themselves.

“I’m proud of you” is a phrase more often heard from the mouths of parents or mentors, but it is very important in romantic relationships, as well. There aren’t many better ways to show your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband that you approve of the way they conduct themselves and the wonderful things they do than by telling them you’re proud of them.

There are a variety of reasons why we might be proud of our romantic partner: the hard work they do at the office or at home to help support the family; the time and effort they put into being a good role model for the children; or even something as simple as kindness they might show to you or a stranger.

The fact is that you can find dozens of simple reasons to be proud of your lover every day, and you shouldn’t pass up the chance to express your pride . . . whether it’s with the spoken word, a quick text message, or in a special, hand-written note.

So what are you waiting for? “I’m proud of you” are four magical words that are guaranteed to add more romance to your relationship and make your lover feel great. Go let that special someone know why you’re so proud to have them in your life!

So, are there secrets to saying “I love you” for the first time? Of course not. If you’re nervous about telling that special person about your romantic feelings, first remind yourself that lovers have heard those three words for the first time under countless circumstances and in a million different ways. And do you know what? If two people are truly in love, they won’t care one bit about when or where or how those words were said for the first time.

Whether it’s on a romantic beach, at a busy airport terminal, or written in a love letter, that first “I love you” is something that every person remembers for the rest of their lives. If you feel that it’s the right time and place to finally say it, even a greasy old diner will seem like the most romantic place in the world when you both think back on it.

But how will you know when it’s the right time to say “I love you?” Can you say it too soon? Well, yes, you can. Obviously, telling someone you are in love with them on a first date might come across as a little . . . weird, and it’s unlikely your sentiments would be returned. A truly romantic relationship or marriage needs to develop slowly, and if you feel that there’s a reason to rush things, you may want reconsider your motivations.

If you find yourself falling in love with someone but feel that it’s a bit too early to say it, there’s nothing wrong with letting the relationship continue to develop and waiting for the perfect moment to state your love. Don’t be too eager . . . and remember that the perfect moment could pop up any time and surprise you both.

Some people who feel the time is right, however, may want to have more control over the circumstances and not leave it up to chance. Actually planning out how you’ll say “I love you” can be worth the time and effort. The place where you went on your first date, a romantic weekend getaway, or even at the end of a well-planned, fun event are all great places and times to let that special someone know you love them.

One important thing to remember: never tell someone you love them for the first time expecting to hear the same thing back. Being told “I love you” can be a very breathtaking event for some people, and even if they share the same feelings it may be difficult for them to say it back right away. Simply say the words because you want to say them–don’t press for a response or act disappointed if your sentiments aren’t returned right away. Be patient, and prove your love to that person by dedicating yourself to the relationship and making it easier for them when they are ready to say “I love you” back.

The most important word to remember, then, is patience. Patience to nurture and develop your romantic relationship, patience to wait for the right time and place to say “I love you,” and patience in waiting to hear “I love you” back. With a lot of patience and a little bravery, you’ll succeed in creating a romantic memory you and your soon-to-be wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend will remember together for years to come.

Old-fashioned romantic love notes . . . with a modern twist!

Whether by horseback, secret delivery in the dark of night, or even tied to the leg of a pigeon, the romantic love letters of long ago overcame obstacles of distance and oppression to reach their objects of affection. While hand-written messages of love are still a necessary and important part of healthy romantic relationships or marriages today, the contemporary romantic no longer needs to order a fresh bottle of ink or keep a courier on hand to deliver sporadic thoughts of love that innevitably pop up during the course of the day.

Some may complain that modern technology has made romance too cheap and easy, but digital innovation, if used sparingly, can help build a better, more romantic relationship with your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband.

Most people today have cell phones, but I’ve met far too many who are hesitant to try text messaging or who think they would have no use for it. Expecially in a romantic relationship, texting can provide an important, unique forum for you and your lover to communicate in a fun new way.

Skip the small talk . . . and get right to romance!

Instead of making a romantic relationship less personal, text messaging can actually increase the amount of communication by allowing couples to express feelings that they wouldn’t otherwise. If, for example, you have a sudden thought at work of a romantic moment you shared recently with your lover, in many cases you won’t have the time or the privacy to call and talk about it. But text messaging allows you to send a very brief, very private message to your lover without anyone around you having a clue.

In addition, text messaging lets us send little romantic sentiments to our lovers without having to surround our message with the empty small talk and uncomfortable pauses that might come with a phone call. Just a few short romantic words are all that are necessary in a text . . . but we would never dream of calling our lover, saying those same few words, then hanging up right away!

Put thought into what you send . . . but don’t overdo it!

So, what kind of romantic text messages should you send to your lover? That’s up to you. You could decide to send a snippet from a romantic poem or a flowery message every day, but often all that’s necessary is a simply “I love you” or “I’m thinking about you.” Even short, sporadic messages like that will show your lover that they are on your mind and help improve your relationship.

One thing to keep in mind, though: it is possible to overdo text messaging. Because it’s so easy to do, it can be tempting to send text after text during boring lulls in your day. Don’t give in to this urge; it can be expensive if you’re paying a few cents per text, and no matter how much in love someone is they can still get annoyed by too much romance. Try to limit yourself to a few romantic texts a day, and you’ll be amazed at the positive difference it makes in your relationship.

So what are you waiting for? Go plug in to a great new way of using technology to add more romance to your relationship today. Get texting!

Romantic competition may be just what the doctor ordered!

While some forms of competition can have a negative effect on your relationship (competition that stokes jealous feelings should always be avoided), a little bit of romantic competition can bring you and your lover closer, teach you to interact together better, and add some spice to your relationship or marriage.

For couples who enjoy fitness activities and sports, occasional physical competitions and games can build your romance while helping you both stay in great shape. Something as rough-and-tumble as wrestling or football might be out of the question for some (but not all!) couples, but less dangerous competitive sports such as tennis, track, golf or handball might be the perfect answer to build your romantic relationship.

Romance and learning how to lose

Ideally, the sport should be one which doesn’t give one person an unfair advantage over another, so that both partners have a legitimate chance of coming out the winner. The point of adding romantic competition to a relationship isn’t to establish one person as physically or mentally superior to the other, but to learn how to better interact with each other and—gasp!—even how to deal with not being the winner. Give-and-take is a crucial part of any romantic relationship, and learning how to cope with not getting our way is an important part of romantic competition.

Getting beat by your lover in a romantic game of tennis is a great way to learn to shrug off the inevitable losses that come with any successful relationship . . . and you’ll quickly come to the conclusion that even though you may be losing in the short run, in the long run you’re winning by becoming a healthier, happier couple!

The list of possibilities for romantic competition is endless!

But romantic competition doesn’t have to be just physical. There’s an endless number of competitive games that couples can play while alone together or on teams with a group of friends.

Card games, board games, and even trivia can bring much-needed romantic competition to a relationship just as well as any physical sport. And while it may be tempting to always play on the same team as your romantic partner when with a group of friends, make sure you mix things up a bit by occasionally competing on different sides. Remember, the point of romantic competition is to teach you and your lover how to have fun with being the winner or the loser every now and then.

Romantic competition is a win-win situation! 

You’ll be amazed at how much more exciting and healthy your relationship will become by adding some romantic competition at least once a week, whether physical or non-physical. And remember: whether you win or lose the game, you’re always winning by building a better, more trusting romantic relationship. Have fun!

Update: You can check out this great example of using romantic competition to better your relationship from Shoemoney, one of my favorite bloggers. Shoemoney and his wife are having a triathalon against each other, and the winner gets to choose what restaurant they will eat at for a month. What a great idea for building better relationships!

Showing your lover how much they mean to you every day will help you build a better, more romantic relationship, but it’s also addicting. Even people who have never tried to be romantic before will be amazed at how much more exciting and fun a relationship can be when just a little bit of romance is added to the mix. And being romantic doesn’t mean spending big bucks; in fact, the less expensive and more original a romantic gesture is, the better it shows how much you love someone.

Following are 101 inexpensive ways to say “I love you,” but they’re only the tip of a giant, romantic iceberg with limitless possibilities for you and your lover. Are they simple, common sense ideas? Well, sure they are. There’s no secret to being romantic, and the best ways of showing your feelings to someone are always the simplest ways. Promise yourself to try one of the ideas on this list every day, or use it to develop your own ways to show your love.

Saying “I love you” for the first time may be nervewracking, but dozens of opportunities for being romantic present themselves every day. Teach yourself to identify and grab those opportunities for romance and you’ll be amazed at how romantic and fulfilling your relationship will become!

101 Inexpensive Ways to Say “I Love You”

1. Write your lover an original, romantic poem (no matter how bad or sappy it is!)
2. Give your lover a romantic massage
3. Take an evening to learn all about your lover’s hobby or unique interest
4. Prepare a romantic meal for your lover (even if you’re a lousy cook)
5. Rent a romantic movie to watch with your lover (An Affair to Remember and Casablanca are great!)
6. Make a list for your lover of your ten favorite romantic memories of the time you’ve spent together
7. Tell your lover how much you enjoy waking up to them in the morning as soon as you wake up
8. Buy flowers for your lover’s mother to thank her for bringing such a special person into the world
9. Wash the dishes by hand with your lover, even if you have a dishwasher
10. Bring your lover romantic flowers at least once a week
11. Take your lover to a free museum or art exhibit
12. Make a romantic picture frame for your lover with your favorite photo of you together
13. Brag to your friends or family about how much you adore your lover
14. Make dinner for your lover’s family to get to know them better
15. Offer to give your lover a haircut (but only if you know what you’re doing!)
16. Buy the sappiest, cheapest greeting card you can find and add your own special romantic message
17. Make giving your lover a hug your first priority when you get home from work
18. Tell your lover that your relationship is your number one priority
19. Ask your lover to teach you how to make their favorite meal
20. Take your lover to a romantic park to push them on a swing
21. Save romantic souveniers from every date you go on with your lover
22. Take your lover on a romantic ferris wheel ride
23. Clean your lover’s car for them
24. Write your lover a “101 reasons why I love you” list
25. Kiss your lover on the cheek every day
26. Make a romantic scrapbook full of pictures showing your lover as a kid growing up and give it to them as a present
27. Buy your lover an inexpensive box of candy to share together (not just for Valentine’s Day!)
28. Build a romantic sandcastle together with your lover at the beach
29. Take your lover back to the place where you went on your first date together
30. Give your lover a romantic thank-you note for all of the happiness they bring you
31. Learn how to sew and surprise your lover by fixing a ripped article of clothing for them
32. Email or scribble down a snippet from a romantic poem for your lover
33. Whisper secret romantic words in your lover’s ear, even when you are alone together
34. Put together a romantic photo album of pictures of you and your lover
35. Put a smiling picture of your lover on your car’s dashboard
36. Take your lover on a romantic afternoon hike or walk
37. Have flowers delivered to your lover at home or work
38. Read romantic love poems to your lover and laugh together at how sappy it is
39. Try to knit your lover a horrible, romantic winter hat, sweater or gloves
40. Mail your lover a card or letter expressing your love, even if you live together
41. Put a gentle arm around your lover’s shoulders when walking together
42. Make your lover a romantic calendar with a different picture of you together for each month
43. Watch a romantic movie together and make a bowl of popcorn for you to share
44. Take your lover on a romantic drive in a rich part of town to look at houses together
45. Buy an inexpensive bottle of wine for you and your lover to share
46. Say “I’m proud of you” to your lover
47. Paint a picture for your lover, no matter how awful your painting skills
48. Write a letter to the editor of your local paper thanking your lover for everything they do for you
49. Breath on your lover’s hands to warm them when it’s cold outside
50. Make your lover a romantic CD of songs that are special to you
51. Pack a special, romantic picnic for your lover
52. Take your lover out to try one of your favorite hobbies or sports–or try theirs!
53. Tell your lover how much your first kiss or date meant to you
54. Use romantic text messages to send your lover love letters on their cell phone
55. Start a romantic blog for your lover with pictures and posts about your relationship
56. Express your love on a mirror or window by writing with a bar of soap (don’t worry, it washes off!)
57. Romantically kiss each of your lover’s fingertips, one after another
58. Learn how to play a song for your lover on a musical instrument, then surprise them with a romantic impromptu performance
59. Surprise your lover with lunch at work
60. Surprise your lover with romantic rose petals on the pillows at bedtime
61. Cut out small hearts from construction paper and leave them in places where your lover will find them
62. Email your lover to let them know you are thinking of them during the day
63. Plant flowers in your lover’s yard or in a windowsill planter
64. Draw a romantic, funny cartoon for your lover expressing your love (the worse the drawing the better!)
65. Learn how to give your lover an amateur manicure
66. Sing a romantic karaoke song for your lover the next time you go to a bar together
67. Have a romantic dinner waiting for your lover after work
68. Light romantic candles for your lover at dinner, bedtime or when sitting around
69. Learn how say “I love you” in a different language to surprise your lover
70. Send a romantic e-card to your lover’s email inbox
71. Shovel the driveway for your lover after a snowstorm
72. Surprise your lover by changing the oil in their car or rotating their tires
73. Ask your lover’s family about any special ideas for making them happier
74. Offer to paint your lover’s nails (if a woman) or to help him shave (if a man)
75. Bake your lover a cake and write a special romantic message in frosting
76. Play romantic music while eating together or spending time together
77. Cook for your lover in a way you’ve never tried before, like grilling outside
78. Ask your lover to dance with you to a romantic song while your are alone together
79. Take your lover for a romantic bike ride
80. Use creative romantic words other than “I love you” to tell your lover how you feel
81. Rake the yard or mow the lawn for your lover
82. Instead of store-bought flowers, make a romantic bouquet of wildflowers for your lover
83. Make your lover homemade candy instead of buying
84. Take turns reading to each other from a favorite novel or book
85. Buy a book of romantic art and ask your lover to look at it with you
86. Make a scrapbook of all the romantic notes and cards you’ve received from your lover
87. Take your lover sledding on a snow day (it’s not just for kids!)
88. Make plans with your lover for exciting and fun weekend dates for the rest of the month
89. Try an exciting new recreational activity with your lover that neither of you have done before
90. Call in sick to work on your anniversary every year just to spend romantic time with your lover
91. Find out your lover’s favorite drink and become a master at making it
92. Make a list with your lover of all the wonderful things you have in common
93. Go to the fair with your lover and win them a stuffed animal (whether you’re a man or a woman!)
94. Call your lover during the work day to tell them you were thinking of them
95. Put time and thought into making homemade jewelry for your lover (but don’t forget to buy the real stuff occasionally!)
96. Ask your lover for a picture of them to carry in your wallet or purse
97. Try baking a romantic batch of cookies or cupcakes for you lover
98. Sneak out to get ice cream to share with your lover
99. Take your lover to garage sales or flea markets to shop together for things you both enjoy
100. Play a competitive game with your lover, whether physical or non-physical, and don’t be afraid to lose
101. Make your own list of 101 new ways to be romantic with your lover!