Love is a funny thing: although it’s a very strong and unmistakable feeling, there have still been countless of people throughout history who have asked themselves the important question “am I in love?”  Especially for someone who has never been in love before, romance can be very confusing, and trying to figure out if you’re actually falling for someone or whether you just like them can be a real romantic conundrum! 

Luckily, there are a few symptoms of true love that can help you answer “am I in love?” and make your feelings easier to deal with.  Unfortunately, love and it’s close cousins, puppy love and lust, can be easily confused for one another in the early stages, so it’s important to get it right and figure out if you’re really in love or if you just have a temporary crush on someone.  As we wrote last year in our post Top 10 signs that you’re in love, it’s easy to define a few of the indications that your feelings are genuine love.

One very important factor to answer the question “am I in love” is whether you care more about their happiness and well being than your own.  If you get the overwhelming feeling that you want this person to be happy no matter what, even if it means they can’t be with you, then you are probably falling in love with them.  Putting someone’s well being above your own is a great indication that you are in love.

You’re also probably in love with someone if you don’t mind giving up certain aspects or good things in your own life in order to be with them and make them happy.  If you find that you don’t care as much anymore about giving up your extra time or money on that special someone, or you don’t want to hang out with the same old crowd anymore, then you may have you answer to “am I in love?”

Even if you do decide that you are really in love, make sure that you take it slow and don’t rush your romance with this new special person.  A romantic relationship is something that needs to be developed slowly and nurtured, and the slower you take your romance the better chances you have for it working out.  So, “am I in love?” . . . well the answer to that question is up to you, and the success of your attempts have everything to do with how you approach the person you are falling in love with!

When most people hear the term “adult dating,” they think of online singles websites or mature topics.  For us on Romance Tracker, however, the term Adult Dating means being responsible and mature in your dating habits and in the ways you search for romance.  Adult Dating is what a responsible, mature adult does . . . as opposed to the irresponsible, reckless dating habits of many people in their late teens and early twenties.  These people may technically be “adults,” but their dating habits constitute anything but adult dating.

Real Adult Dating includes being intelligent in the choices you make when it comes to where you decide to look for potential dates.  While less mature singles might consider a bar or nightclub the best place to find a quick date, the responsible adult dater knows that it’s much easier to find someone who has more in common with you by pursuing your favorite hobbies and interests.  Adult dating means being committed to finding another person who you have things in common with, not just someone with whom you can merely gain physical satisfaction void of romance.

Responsible adult dating also includes treating your date with respect, regardless of how well the date is going.  Treating your date with disrespect or walking out on them if you think things aren’t going well isn’t the mark of a mature person.  Simply see the date through, be polite when the evening closes, and you can consider yourself a responsible adult dater.

For many young people in their late teens or early twenties, the dating scene exists for mainly physical reasons, but as we mature we find that true adult dating is all about mutually respect for each other and discovering someone who has something in common with you beyond the physical.  Adult dating is something that singles usually grow into as they become more mature and the bar scene gets old for them. 

So if you’re really interested in adult dating, the Internet isn’t the place for you!  Go visit your favorite museum or concert, and always be on the lookout for other exciting people who share the same interests and hobbies as you.  If you haven’t experienced real adult dating yet, it’s time to start maturing in your dating habits!

As the Internet becomes more and more popular, free dating sites that cater to the personalities and preferences of many different types of people are multiplying every day.  There are even free singles sites that are dedicated to people of a certain faith, and none are more popular than free Christian dating sites that let Christian singles meet other people with similar church interests.

Before we get more in-depth on this topic, let me first say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a free Christian dating site to meet other Christian singles if you have been having a hard time finding that special someone at church or other places.  You should never feel ashamed of using a Christian dating service to try to find romance, and I’m sure there are plenty of examples of successful Christian relationships that started because of a free online singles service.

Having said that, though, it’s good advice to exercize a lot of caution when using free online Christian dating sites.  While there may be plenty of individuals on these sites who are genuinely looking for legitimate Christian singles, like any other website these people may not be who they seem to be.  No matter how convincing singles may seem on a Christian dating site, you always need to take their profiles with a grain of salt and move slowly when getting to know them.

Just because it is a free Christian dating site doesn’t mean that you should assume that everyone who contacts you has Christian intentions.  Never agree to meet anyone in person or give them your address or phone number until you have taken your time and are absolutely certain that they can be trusted.  By taking your online romance slowly, you can help guarantee that a real, long-lasting relationship can develop, and put your Christian dating site to good use.

Are you sure, however, that an online Christian dating site is really your last resort for finding that special someone?  Obviously you have considered church functions and activities as a source for meeting other Christian singles, but there may be other options you haven’t explored for meeting someone with similar beliefs and faith in God.

By concentrating on your own hobbies and interests and enjoying the activities you enjoy to do, you may end up finding that special Christian single without even looking.  Instead of worrying about meeting a potential boyfriend or girlfriend, simply do what you enjoy doing, take in your favorite museums or plays or other extracurricular activities, and Christian romance may very well find you.  Free online Christian dating sites may be good for some people, but in most cases they aren’t even necessary in the first place!    

Learning all about romance and is fine and good for someone who is already in a romantic relationship with a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband.  But what about shy single people who have yet to tell that special someone that they love them?  Re-declaring your affection for your lover is easy to do after you’ve “broken the ice,” so to speak, but for a shy person, being in love and not knowing how to tell someone you love them can be a nerve-wracking experience.   

Many people are naturally shy and nervous around people of the opposite sex, but if you’re one of them there are plenty of ways to overcome your shyness and gain the courage you need to tell that special person that you love them with all your heart. 

Before we get into different ways for a shy person to say “I love you,” though, it’s important to clarify one thing: in many cases, actually telling someone you love them isn’t necessary to communicate your strong feelings about them at all.  There are infinitely more ways to show someone you love them than there are to tell someone you love them.  If you’re a shy person who is nervous about saying those special words, you may want to concentrate on using actions to express your love rather than words . . . at least until you build up the comfort and courage you need.

Once you do feel that it’s time to tell your sweetheart you love them, though, you have plenty of methods available to you that will help you overcome your shyness and declare your affection.  The most direct and unabashed way, of course, is to just come out and say it . . . although it always helps to wait for the right romantic moment.  During a romantic movie, after a special date, or even while you’re in a romantic embrace are all perfect times to say those special words.

For many shy people, however, simply saying “I love you” is anything but simple.  If you’re still too nervous and shy to mouth the words, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Have you thought about putting them down on paper, instead, and letting your sweetheart know that you love them with all your heart in spite of your shyness?  If you’re lover enjoys receiving romantic cards or letters, that might be the perfect way for you to express your true feelings.

And when it comes to the written word, never overlook modern technology as a way for you to overcome your shyness and express yourself.  Romantic emails, romantic instant messages and even romantic text messages are all perfectly acceptable ways for you to declare your love.

There is no end to the number of ways you can overcome your nervousness and tell that special someone that you love them.  Just remember: you only get to say “I love you” for the first time once.  Make sure that the method you choose is something you’re comfortable with, something that your sweetheart will appreciate, and something that you’ll both remember for the rest of your romantic lives together!  

As I’ve said before, in spite of vicious rumors to the contrary, romance is alive and well in millions of successful, loving relationships and marriages around the world.  If you’re one of the lucky wives, husbands, boyfriends or girlfriends who has found the person of your dreams, you know that there’s nothing as satisfying and fulfilling as a healthy romantic relationship.

But for romantic people who still haven’t found that special someone, it can be tough to find the inspiration to remain optimistic and upbeat while you look for Mr. or Ms. Right.  I recently came across a great blog, Violet Lim.Com, that is a terrific resource full of advice on dating, matchmaking, love and life . . . and it could be just what the doctor ordered for people who are looking to add a bit more romance and inspiration to their everyday lives!

Violet became the first Asian certified by New York’s Matchmaking Institute in 2004 before launching her career as a professional matchmaker.  She was a relationship columnist for one of Malaysia’s leading magazines, and has been featured on international media such as ABC News 20/20.  And her ample experience in helping people navigate the complexities of being in love and searching for romance are evident in each of her posts!

Violet Lim runs her blog from Asia, but her great command of language and a deep understanding of the mechanics of romance transcends borders.  Regardless of whether you’re from the United States, Singapore or the South Pole, Violet’s matchmaking tips will inspire you  with great ideas to add more romance to your life.  Bookmark her blog as a great compliment to the romantic ideas you’ll find every day here on Romance Tracker!  

I was happy yesterday to get a phone call from an old friend who said he came across Romance Tracker by doing a Google search for something having to do with romance.  He was surprised to see my smiling mug here on the site and called to ask me how long I’d been blogging about old-fashioned romantic ideas.

I started Romance Tracker only four months ago, and it’s a great feeling to have an acquaintance randomly stumble upon the site while they were looking for romance advice!  The huge amount of daily search traffic we’re getting from people looking to add romance to their relationships is really encouraging, and the call I got from my friend was great inspiration to continue posting.

Just like me, my friend is a man who is proud to be an old-fashioned romantic.  Unlike me, however, he hasn’t had the good fortune to find the woman of his dreams just yet.  I’m sure it will happen eventually; he is a great guy and an elected official with a successful future ahead of him.  But like many romantic people, my friend is discouraged that there just doesn’t seem to be many true romantics left in the world anymore.    

There are more romantic people out there than ever before!

I disagree with him, of course, although I do understand his frustration.  It can take many years for a romantic person to find that perfect someone, and until that day comes it’s easy to find yourself thinking that you’re the last person on earth who really cares about romance.  Today’s society and pop culture doesn’t really give a whit about true romance, as flipping through the cable channels or listening to the radio will quickly show you.

That doesn’t mean, though, that there are no romantic people left in the world!  On the contrary, I believe that there are more romantic people than ever before surrounding us.  With the media and pop culture becoming so crass and cynical about romance, the truly romantic couples out there are learning the value of keeping their relationships private and finding pleasure in simply making each other happy.

Remember: true romance in relationships is subtle, not flashy.  And for that very reason, romantic couples can sometimes be hard to find.  But it doesn’t mean they aren’t there!

The secret to meeting a romantic person

But what about finding a romantic man or woman who isn’t taken yet?  Do romantic single people really even exist in the world anymore?

Of course they do!  And they aren’t really that hard to find, either, no matter where you live.  The problem facing most people who are looking for a romantic boyfriend or girlfriend is that they are looking in the wrong places.

There really is a guaranteed way to meet a person who values romance as much as you, and this is it: surround yourself in a romantic environment.  No, I don’t mean you should cut out a bunch of little paper hearts and hang them all over your office.  But I do mean that you should commit yourself to living a romantic lifestyle to attract other people of the same mindset.

No, you probably aren’t going to meet a romantic person in a bar.

It may be easier to meet single people at bars and clubs, but do you really think that you’re likely to find a romantic person at one of those places?  By spending your free time in activities and places that truly interest and inspire you, you’re much more likely to eventually come across another single person who values the same.

It may take longer to find someone by immersing yourself in what you enjoy, but when you finally do begin a relationship it will be with a person who has similar interests, similar passions, and a similar love for romance.  By taking your time, you’ll guarantee yourself a more stable, more fulfilling and more exciting relationship.

Be proud of being romantic . . . and you’ll find that special someone! 

So take heart if you’re one of the many single people who feels doomed to never finding that special someone who is as romantic as you are.  He or she is out there, I guarantee it, and you’re going to find them sooner or later.

But by surrounding yourself in a romantic environment and letting yourself do the things you love to do, you’ll help make that day come sooner . . . rather than later!

So, are you one of the lucky people who’s found the man or woman of your dreams? If not, don’t stress out . . . you’re part of a pretty big club! Meeting that perfect person for marriage or to share your life and passions with can take a lot of persistence and patience, especially if you’ve been single for a long time. Just remember: you need to have faith that there really is someone who is meant for you . . . and dedicate yourself to using romantic ideas to become the best person you can be for when you do finally meet them!

Until that time comes, though, there are a few things you can do to make your life more fulfilling, more romantic, and make it more likely for you to come across the person you’re meant to spend your life with. None of them are hard to do, and all of them are guaranteed to make you happier, more productive, and more fun to be around. In fact, even people who aren’t looking for love could make their lives a heck of a lot better by following these five simple rules!

So be patient, concentrate on today, and use the five romantic ideas below to help hurry along that day when you finally find that special someone. Ask anyone who’s found true love: it hits you when you least expect it! Make these habits a part of your daily routine and you’re guaranteed to be ready when romance comes into your life. Your future wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend will thank you for it!

Top Five Ways to Find the Person of Your Dreams

1. Be optimistic.

Sure, this rule is a simple one . . . but it’s first on the list because it’s the easiest, most effective way possible to stay motivated and determined to make yourself a happier, more successful person. Studies have shown that it’s not your situation or circumstances that determine how you feel, but rather the way you view them. Remain certain that things happen for a reason, and that you can handle any problem that life hands you, and you’ll be more prepared to impress your special someone and be ready for love when it finds you.

2. Learn to love yourself.

It’s true: that old cliche about “love thyself” is some of the best advice you can get if you’re looking to find that special someone. Feeling good about yourself, and being proud of yourself and the things you do, is one of the first steps you need to take in nurturing a healthy romance with another person. By learning to appreciate your own good qualities, you’ll be better prepared to use them to improve your future romantic relationship.

3. Immerse yourself in what you love.

Every one of us have unique talents and interests, and immersing yourself in the activities you love will make you happier, more skilled, and more attractive to that special someone when you finally meet them. Don’t try to be the kind of person you think someone else will want you to be; instead, concentrate on the aptitudes that make you special and become determined to perfect those skills and make your life better through them. When the time comes, the person you’re meant to be with will recognize your uniqueness and love you more for it.

4. Take good care of yourself.

We can’t all be supermodels, but exercising on a regular basis and paying attention to your personal appearance will make you feel better about yourself, give you more confidence and make you more optimistic. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that whoever you’re meant to be with will fall in love with you at first sight even if you dress in sweatpants and stop washing your hair. Sure, your special someone will eventually love you for what’s on the inside, but you’ll make it easier for them to notice you if you take a little pride in your appearance.

5. Stop looking!

All of the previous four rules have one thing in common: you don’t have to be looking for love to use them to improve your life and your attitude. In fact, you’ll become a better person, and become more attractive to other people, if you concentrate on bettering yourself and stop worrying so much about finding someone. Become determined to be more optimistic, appreciate yourself, immerse yourself in what you love, take good care of yourself, and I guarantee that your special someone will find you. True love happens when we least expect it, so stop looking for it and start making yourself a better person for when it finally comes!

Hope you like the list . . . and that you add any other ways to find the person of your dreams in our comments section below! Big thanks to Darren Rowse of Problogger for inspiring Romance Tracker to write this post for his Top Five Group Writing Project.

There are few experiences that we go through in our lives that can be more difficult and exhausting than the breakup of a romantic relationship, and healing ourselves from the wounds of a broken heart is sometimes a more painful and lengthy process than healing from physical injuries. Just like the months following a sickness, you might find that you’re much more vulnerable and weak immediately after a difficult breakup or divorce. . . and jumping right back into things that you did before can make the healing process take even longer.

It might feel as though your heart will never heal after the failure of a romantic relationship or marriage, but recovering from a broken heart is a lot like recovering from illness; you may not be up to thinking about romantic ideas again now, but you can place yourself on that road again by paying attention to yourself and taking your recovery slowly. When you find yourself single again, there are plenty of things that you need to avoid to let your heart heal properly before giving romance another try.

Below are ten things you should definitely avoid if you’ve recently gone through a difficulty breakup with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. Staying away from these things will help your heart to recover as quickly as possible, but they are by no means the only things you should avoid. Only you know all of the influences in your life that might stop you from getting over a broken heart, and it’s up to you to have the discipline to stay away from them . . . and get back to feeling good again!

Top Ten Things to Avoid After a Breakup

1. Your ex . . . if the breakup was bad

I say “if the breakup was bad” because avoiding your ex isn’t always the best way to get over your ex. If you find that you can still be good friends with your ex following a breakup, having someone to talk to about the pain you’re feeling can be very therapeutic. After all, not many people know you better than someone with whom you shared a romantic relationship.

Be careful, though; if your breakup wasn’t amicable or if keeping in touch with your ex makes it more difficult for you, it’s time to stay away for a while and heal.

2. Sad, sappy songs

Music has a huge amount of control over human emotions, and there are few things that can immediately change a person’s mood as effectively as music. If a sad song comes on the radio, turn it to a more upbeat one. If a song that was special to you and your ex comes on, turn it off. Force yourself to listen to fun, exhilarating music instead.

3. Alcohol and drugs

This one is a no-brainer. Booze and drugs might be appealing to some people during difficult times, but it’s only going to make you feel even worse and do stupid things you’ll regret. If you can, swear off alcohol, even a few beers, until after you’ve fully healed from a broken heart. And swear off drugs whether you’re healed or not. You don’t need them to feel good if you’re really in love, anyway.

4. Negative people

We all know people who are constantly pessimistic about life and who only concentrate on the bad or on putting other people down. These types might try to feed off of your misery while you’re healing from a broken heart, but it’s best to stay away from them. Instead, replace them with friends and family who can be supportive, optimistic and upbeat around you in spite of your mood.

5. Loneliness

We all need time by ourselves after a traumatic event, but whatever you do don’t let yourself be alone for too long. Surrounding yourself with people again, whether it’s friends, family or co-workers, will help immensely in healing your broken heart. It may be difficult at first, but force yourself to be with people after you’ve spent an appropriate amount of time alone.

6. Inactivity

Get your butt out and do something you used to enjoy doing, even if you don’t feel like it. I know that staring at the wall and feeling sorry for yourself is very appealing at a time like this, but this is another thing you need to simply force yourself to avoid. Start a project and make yourself complete it. Start exercising. Do something, anything, that takes attention and activity.

7. Rebound companionship

This is another one for the no-brainer category. Jumping into someone else’s arms is the last thing that will help your heart heal, regardless of how lonely you get. Spend time with friends and family, but don’t open yourself up for even more heartache by trying to start a relationship with another person too quickly. Romance can happen again, but not if you try to force it.

8. Your bed, couch or anything else you can lay or sit on

This one ties in with number six, avoiding inactivity. Sure, it will be very tempting to stay in bed under the covers all day when you’re depressed and heartbroken, or to vegetate on your couch and stare at the television by yourself. Don’t let yourself do it. Get your rear end out of bed, take a shower, get dressed and do something.

9. Obsessive, pessimistic thoughts

For some of us, this is the most difficult thing to avoid, because getting control over your thoughts is often extremely difficult. Even when we know we are hurting ourselves with the awful worry and obsessive thoughts we’re having about our failed relationship, it can be seemingly impossible to get them out of our heads. But you need to try anyway. Make yourself think of how happy things will be once you get your life back on track, focus on your future, and smile. Fake a smile if you have to.

10. Bitterness and placing blame

Is one person more at fault for your romantic relationship falling apart that another? Well, maybe. But how is focusing on that going to help you heal? Becoming bitter and pointing blame and other people will do just the opposite . . . it will make you take longer to heal, and it encourages number nine: obsessive, pessimistic thoughts. Regardless of who’s to blame, focusing on feeling better and staying upbeat will help you more than getting angry at what you can’t change.

When you’ve had the privilege of experiencing a romantic relationship or marriage with someone, it can be very difficult to find yourself without that special person in your life anymore. As I’ve said before,  romantic ideas are addicting . . . and the pain that we feel when we go through a difficult breakup or divorce can initially feel debilitating. When there’s no wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend around anymore to have fun with and dedicate your life to, it can feel as though you’ll never find true romance again.

It may feel that way, but it doesn’t have to be that way. With patience and optimism, a truly romantic person will find someone with whom to share love again. But if you’re the romantic type, why wait until you find another lover to live a life of romance? Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to stop being a romantic person. Remember: even single people can live romantic lives, and doing so is great practice for the time when you do have someone to share it with.

Sure, living a romantic life is more fulfilling with a lover to focus your efforts on. But peppering your single life with romantic touches and romantic inspiration is refreshing, rejuvenating and a great exercise to hone your romantic skills.

What kind of romantic touches am I talking about? Well, I certainly don’t mean to imagine that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend to pretend you are taking that person out on a date. At the heart of romance is patience, beauty, and caring about someone else’s wellbeing more than you care about your own. These are all qualities that will bring you great rewards by introducing them into your single life.

Did you enjoy bringing your sweetheart fresh flowers when you were together? Then why stop buying flowers? Putting a bouquet in a vase at home might not be the same as handing them to a lover, but it can brighten your day. And if you enjoyed romantic reading with your lover or walks in particularly beautiful places, you shouldn’t let the end of the relationship mean the end to those activities.

The truly romantic person doesn’t really need an object of affection to live a life of romance. You’ll find ways to live a romantically life through kindness and understanding to others, by injecting random beauty into your life, and by encouraging others to bring romance into their lives.

Remember, the goal of living a romantic life as a single person is to practice and be better prepared to love that next special someone! No one is encouraging you to live alone for the rest of your life. But by making sure that a little romance and beauty is present in your day-to-day life, you’ll be ready to dive into the next romantic relationship when it does come along.

So if you had love in your life and lost it, try hard to not become bitter or stop doing the romantic things you once loved doing. Add a little romance to your single life, and you’ll quickly discover that you are happier, more content, and more prepared for the next great adventure in romance.