Before you start getting nervous, I don’t plan on doing a post any time soon about how to kill your husband, how to kill your wife, how to kill your girlfriend, how to kill your boyfriend . . . or how to kill anyone, for that matter! I doubt those are the kind of romantic ideas our regular readers are looking for, and if you are, then you’ve come to the wrong place.

But search engines aren’t only used for innocent research, as I found out today. While I was looking through my site statistics, I noticed that someone found Romance Tracker today by typing “10 ways to kill your boyfriend” into a Google search. Apparently my post on the top ten ways to make your relationship completely UNromantic now ranks at number two when you enter that search phrase.

I don’t understand why Romance Tracker is ranking for information on how to murder your significant other, but I doubt anyone intent on spousal abuse is going to find any useful tips here. It did give me an idea for a quick post, though.

I don’t want to disappoint those of you who came here looking for ways to kill someone, so here’s another Top Ten List that might help!

Top Ten Ways to Kill Someone . . . With Kindness!

1. Read something nice for them.

2. Write them a romantic poem.

3. Give them a romantic massage.

4. Make them a romantic meal.

5. Watch a romantic movie with them.

6. Write a list of your favorite romantic memories for them.

7. Write them a romantic email.

8. Send them a romantic greeting card.

9. Buy them a bouquet of flowers.

10. Take them out on a romantic date.

Update: Now it looks like Romance Tracker is ranking for another disgusting search term, too.